Todays joke!!!!! - Page 177
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  1. #3521
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

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  3. #3522
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    sideshowbob
    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  4. #3523
    Prodigious Member Nige999's Avatar
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    Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.

    For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

    After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

    The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

    Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"

    Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."
    Current XFR-S 5.0 in Ultimate Black.... Previously 3.0 D S Portfolio
    🖐😜👍

  5. #3524
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    023940706b30f5dc48ae3e8d33421328.jpg
    Should have gone to specsavers lol.
    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  6. #3525
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  7. #3526
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    Fun and games to play at home, when retired:
    c0d3482498a86b530d8023725550555c.jpg
    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  8. #3527
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  9. #3528
    Founder member
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  10. #3529
    Administrator wilf's Avatar
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    ........A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
    When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
    So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
    note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.
    Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
    The blonde said,
    "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
    The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
    Wait for it
    The blonde said,
    "No, just up to my tits ...
    I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"
    XF replaced by a big tractor due to intransigence of Jaguar marketing. When I wanted to order, a V6 engine and a Portfolio interior was mutually exclusive if you lived in the UK, but not elsewhere.

    Old lives matter!

  11. #3530
    Senior member OBC John's Avatar
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    Good grief Wilf. The old ones are the best, eh? A Benny Hill classic!!! (And I think he stole it from Bob Hope . . . . . )
    XF-S Portfolio in BLACK

  12. #3531
    Administrator wilf's Avatar
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    You can't beat a classic...............
    XF replaced by a big tractor due to intransigence of Jaguar marketing. When I wanted to order, a V6 engine and a Portfolio interior was mutually exclusive if you lived in the UK, but not elsewhere.

    Old lives matter!

  13. #3532
    Rampant Member compo batty's Avatar
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    " Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, and promoted by an unscrupulous media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a tyrd by the clean end". Jaguar Sovereign 1998 V8 4.0.

  14. #3533
    Senior member PsiFox's Avatar
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    IMG_2074.JPG
    The orders at dominos were a bit unfortunate today.
    Current car MY2014 XK-R with speedpack and loads of options charcoal interior and active exhaust.

  15. #3534
    Senior member PsiFox's Avatar
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    Current car MY2014 XK-R with speedpack and loads of options charcoal interior and active exhaust.

  16. #3535
    Administrator wilf's Avatar
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    Dirty boy!
    XF replaced by a big tractor due to intransigence of Jaguar marketing. When I wanted to order, a V6 engine and a Portfolio interior was mutually exclusive if you lived in the UK, but not elsewhere.

    Old lives matter!

  17. #3536
    Founder member
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  18. #3537
    Active Member davetech's Avatar
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    T'would be inserted where the sun doesn't shine if it was mine.
    2012 PL 3.0D Black

  19. #3538
    Administrator wilf's Avatar
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    snow plough.jpgFor those of us that need help perambulating:
    XF replaced by a big tractor due to intransigence of Jaguar marketing. When I wanted to order, a V6 engine and a Portfolio interior was mutually exclusive if you lived in the UK, but not elsewhere.

    Old lives matter!

  20. #3539
    Active Member davetech's Avatar
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    Plough.jpg Prefer this beast.
    2012 PL 3.0D Black

  21. #3540
    Administrator wilf's Avatar
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    XF replaced by a big tractor due to intransigence of Jaguar marketing. When I wanted to order, a V6 engine and a Portfolio interior was mutually exclusive if you lived in the UK, but not elsewhere.

    Old lives matter!


 
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